Conflict & Power
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Reasons for Topic Avoidance
In the episode The Gypsy and the Hobo (K), Betty finally confronts Don about his true identity. She is upset that he has been lying to her for the entirety of their relationship. Don avoided talking about his past for two of the reasons for topic avoidance. Don avoids telling Betty about his identity to protect their relationship. According to research by Hatfield and Rosenfeld, "fear of abandonment often explained someone's decision to avoid certain topics or keep something a secret. In other words, if people are worried that their dating partner will disapprove, they will likely keep something to themselves (24)."
Don probably feels that Betty would disapprove of the fact that he grew up very poor and his mother was a prostitute. He does not want their marriage to end because of his secrets, so he never tells her. When Betty tells Don that she knows everything, he is noticeably shaken and nervous, afraid of her reaction. Don also withholds information about his past to protect himself from judgment. According to Guerrero (2011), "the primary reason people avoid discussing certain issues is the fear that disclosure will threaten their identities (25)." Don wants everyone to see him in a positive light, as a powerful man, so he hides his real past. (Video: see Notes, z) |
Power as Resource Based and Quality of Alternatives
In this episode, the idea of power as resource based is illustrated. Don has a lot of power in his relationship with Betty because of the lifestyle that his career allows them to live. According to Vogler, Lyonette, and Wiggins' research, "unequal access to money in a marital relationship and keeping money in separate accounts for the partners is associated with more male control and less female relationship satisfaction (26)." He makes a lot of money, so Betty depends on his earnings so that she can stay home with the kids and have the best of everything. Once Betty finds out about Don's lies, she sees a lawyer, who advises her against getting a divorce, as she would not be entitled to any money. Betty feels trapped and powerless until she confronts Don. Betty's knowledge of Don's lies gives her the power to force him to explain everything.
She feels the relationship falling apart, and visits her friend, Henry Francis, who says he wants to marry her. Once she hears this, she feels powerful enough to leave Don, knowing there will be someone to take care of her. This relates to the quality of alternatives, which deals with the opportunities and relationships people could have if they were not in their current relationship. Henry seems to be a good alternative for Betty after having to deal with Don's lies and affairs. (Photo: see Notes, aa) For more information on references; see Notes. |